Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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