Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
