We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
