it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize