So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
