he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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