so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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