We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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