If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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