i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
