You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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