So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
