yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
