party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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