Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
