a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
