dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
