Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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