remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
True strength comes from lack of pants
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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