I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
