wat bout pragnant strippers??
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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