just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i think my mom watched the whole time
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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