yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
