Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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