and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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