We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
