So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
