next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
this boner is exhausting
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
