This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
