Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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