you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
True strength comes from lack of pants
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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