Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
