She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
