All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
