You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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