They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
