I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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