the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
