After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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