I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
