In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
