just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
