Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize