if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
