I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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