You made me cry and you don't even care
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize