She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
