I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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