Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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