That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
