Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Randomize
