that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
