She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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