is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
