ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
