I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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