Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
