There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
