you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
