Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
