I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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