Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
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