My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
