you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
