too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
