Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize