i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
