ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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