4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
