you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I need a beard to bite.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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