I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
