Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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