the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
